Survivor
by Henry Rettop
Summary: Harry and Howarts people, along with many various characters from different books and things, get stranded on a desert island and are to complete tasks.


********Survivor********  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay, like most of my fics, I got this idea from someone else. Enjoy!! Oh, and this is not based on the show "Survivor" there may be some vague similarities, but don't kill me when I go off the exact storylines of the show. BY THE WAY, THE ARE IN THEIR SEVENTH YEAR, OKAY, SEVENTEEN YEAR OLDS!!  
  
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Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Hanna Abbot, Junie B. Jones, Artemis Fowl, Cinderella, Wilbur(from Charlotte's Web), Scarecrow(from the Wizard of Oz), and a little mouse that talks funny who calls herself Squeaky were all trapped on a desert island.  
  
"Harry, you never should have signed up for that stupid, mudblood T.V. show!!!" shrieked Hermione, after taking a look at the one hammock that was hung between two palm trees which were the only things on the acre- large island.  
  
"I wouldn't be talking, nerdy mudblood!" Draco snapped. Hermione opened her mouth to protest to being called mudblood, then remembered that she had used the horrid word herself.  
  
"Draco, don't urge me, if we were allowed to bring wands, you'd be dead by now." threatened Ron. Harry got fed up with the arguing and moved over to a funny looking scarecrow who seemed like he would help in building some kind of shelter.  
  
"Hey, what's your name?" Harry asked, trying to start a conversation.  
  
"If I only had a brain.." sighed the scarecrow.  
  
"I see..." said Harry, uneasily. "And, where are you from?"  
  
"If I only had a brain." was the lonely answer. Harry was quite confused. The scarecrow, however, just shook his head, and jumped in the hammock and lied down. At that moment, a large blur of pink and pig-like snorts ran past Harry's legs. The blur ran over to the ocean, jumped in, and got swept away by the waves. Harry hadn't realized it was Wilbur, the pig, until it was gone. Seeing this, Hermione burst into tears and poured sand on her head.  
  
Ron just looked at all of this oddly; he was very confused. All of a sudden, a big announcement came up: ***CONGRATULATIONS! THE FIRST ONE TO LEAVE OF US HAS LEFT!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO THE SURVIVORS OF ROUND ONE!!!..so far...*** That didn't help Ron's confusion.  
  
Harry spotted Hanna Abbot at the side of the beach and waved, to be friendly. Hanna picked her nose, smiled ecstatically, and ran to Harry and kissed him on the lips. Harry rushed away from her and ran to the opposite side of the island. As Harry washed his mouth with the salt water, he touched his cheeks and felt that he was blushing. Harry ducked his whole head into the water for a minute. When he came out, he was glad to feel that he was not blushing.  
  
After the whole Hanna Abbot-blush-head-water ordeal, Harry brushed himself off, trying to calm down. He examined everyone else. There was a princess of some sort giving herself a pedicure, wearing a big, bushy, blue ball dress. Hanna Abbot was sitting on the ground, staring into open space, a little five-year-old with brown hair and an oversized hair tie was trying to consult with a very mousy-looking creature who talked very strangely and squeakish. Draco was consulting with an evil-glint-in-eye boy of about 14. Harry heard some bits of their conversation. He heard words like "nuclear explosion", and "kill 'em all!!" and "MONEY!!" Harry looked over at Hermione, who was picking bits of sand out of her hair, and at Ron, who was scratching his head. Hermione walked over to Ron and they indulged in kissing deeply. They had all gone quite mad from the island already; Harry had to do something. He walked up to the mousy creature and asked. "Hey, wha---who are you?"  
  
"ladfladksjhfa a;lkdjf ilmjlakdjfh lakjfdhalsd kjhsflkajdh kjh dkjh akjlh asdlkjfhaldskfjhaelukhdaklfjhadsl lakjhdflakjhdsfkjlas a a;lfkjafajlkdakjdhfa lkdfjhadlfjeu lkjahflakjdhf fahdlkfjhad kfjahsdf dsalkfahsdlfk alkjhfajhaklhsflkaj akjdhfakdjhfa aksdjfh aldskjhf alkjfdha fakjhf alkdjhfaf halkdsjhf alkdjshf akdjhf akjhfd akljdhfal kdjshf alk kjfhadkjhf alkajdhf akjfhd djhfdja fjdahfk skjhf alskjdhf ksjhfd kdjsfha lskjdfh aldksjfh alkdsjf kljhfdlkajdh fkjdash kjfhkjahf kajhf kjahfkjhaskjfhdflakjh sldkjf kjdhf alskdjh akjdshf akjhf akjsdhf kajdhf kajdhf ajkh fdakjhf aklsjdhf alkjhf akjsh kjhfalk hakjsdhf akjdsh fakjfdh kjah dfhfakj jhdsafukejdkshuencckjcnzhmzmb hfhahenxhf ffaeiljjbv j;ia;lk afjae;lukkjnczhjldasfjasdfazjljzzzlk;j;ij;ljmmqqueji dskfalj;sdfaiejdsf ndsaifljawemfsdinf gjeii akjfhasdfsdfoiaefi sadofnasjfoiahgahghghghghghasf ;sadlkjfa;eigaseous micea ;dlskf ja lie jfalksdjfaiej;lkdfja;esifja;slkdfjeiwaf;aldkc mc;laeijcm djf;eijcmadskj fiermcecaem zljeice;alkaej dsjce akljawieljfpoop oajflka;sdjf;aiejf ;lafiasdj f;aldsifjae;l ifjasdlifja fhlkasj dhf jasdf asjhfawleukhfdsjfaewfasflkjadsncasdc ihavetofart aoefads fadkljhfasdfa sdfhadslfjasdfhlskdjhfalksjdhfkjhsdalfkja sajdfhakljl;kj;lkjdfhakjdhsfj adshfkjahdskjfhadf udshflkajs hf zzz jsa;lkfjaeis fdsafj jjf iej hjt hje ja;sdlkfja lkdsf;jadsfj poopoopop aljdsfaie jie jaldie jalde a;dlkj nfedsafadfdslkjfh kljhaeku gloopitygloopgloopifeelgood plopityplopplopijustpooped ladfladksjhfa a;lkdjf ilmjlakdjfh lakjfdhalsd kjhsflkajdh kjh dkjh akjlh asdlkjfhaldskfjhaelukhdaklfjhadsl lakjhdflakjhdsfkjlas a akjdhfa lkdfjhadlfjeu lkjahflakjdhf fahdlkfjhad kfjahsdf dsalkfahsdlfk alkjhfajhaklhsflkaj akjdhfakdjhfa aksdjfh aldskjhf alkjfdha fakjhf alkdjhfaf halkdsjhf alkdjshf akdjhf akjhfd akljdhfal kdjshf alk kjfhadkjhf alkajdhf akjfhd djhfdja fjdahfk skjhf alskjdhf ksjhfd kdjsfha lskjdfh aldksjfh alkdsjf kljhfdlkajdh fkjdash kjfhkjahf kajhf kjahfkjhaskjfhdflakjh sldkjf kjdhf alskdjh akjdshf akjhf akjsdhf kajdhf kajdhf ajkh fdakjhf aklsjdhf alkjhf akjsh kjhfalk hakjsdhf akjdsh fakjfdh kjah dfhfakj jhdsafukejdkshuencckjcnzhmzmb hfhahenxhf ffaeiljjbv j;ia;lk afjae;lukkjnczhjldasfjasdfazjljzzzlk;j;ij;ljmmqqueji dskfalj;sdfaiejdsf ndsaifljawemfsdinf gjeii akjfhasdfsdfoiaefi sadofnasjfoiahgahghghghghghasf ;sadlkjfa;eigaseous micea ;dlskf ja lie jfalksdjfaiej;lkdfja;esifja;slkdfjeiwaf;aldkc mc;laeijcm djf;eijcmadskj fiermcecaem zljeice;alkaej dsjce akljawieljfpoop oajflka;sdjf;aiejf ;lafiasdj f;aldsifjae;l ifjasdlifja fhlkasj dhf jasdf asjhfawleukhfdsjfaewfasflkjadsncasdc ihavetofart aoefads fadkljhfasdfa sdfhadslfjasdfhlskdjhfalksjdhfkjhsdalfkjaasdfdas sajdfhakjdfhakjdhsfj adshfkjahdskjfhadf udshflkajs hf zzz jsa;lkfjaeis fdsafj jjf iej hjt hje ja;sdlkfja lkdsf;jadsfj poopoopop aljdsfaie jie jaldie jalde a;dlkj nfedsafadfdslkjfh kljhaeku gloopitygloopgloopifeelgood plopityplopplopijustpooped!" the mouse said. The five year old whispered something in the mousy creature's ear, and the mousy creature pressed a button in her ear and tried again.  
  
"Hi! My name's Squeaky! Wha-who are you?" Squeaky replied, smiling, and sounding quite professional, despite her squeaky voice.  
  
"Potter, Harry Potter," Harry responded.  
  
"What are you, some sort of spy or something?" squeaked Squeaky.  
  
"Er..no...why do you ask?" Harry asked uncomfortably.  
  
The five year old whispered something in Squeaky's ear. It sounded something like, "no you idiot, that was James Bond", Harry obviously had no idea what they were talking about.  
  
"Never mind." Squeaky said despairingly. "Oh, this is Jones, Junie B. Jones." Squeaky continued, gesturing towards the five year old. Draco, who was listening in on the conversation, sneered and imitated Squeaky's squeaking.  
  
"Drop dead, Malfoy." snapped Harry, then he turned to Squeaky. "Don't mind him, he's a jerk."  
  
"And who is this jerk?" asked Squeaky. Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Draco burst in.  
  
"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy," hissed Draco, dashingly. He then eyed Cinderella, who was, at that moment, putting the bottles of nail polish in a pretty little pocket book. Cinderella stopped and batted her eyes at Draco, she blew a kiss, and went back to work. Draco blushed furiously and tried to look good.  
  
Squeaky just looked at all of this, very confused. Hermione and Ron hurried over, when they were done kissing intensely, to see what the fuss was. Hermione started fawning over Squeaky, Ron got quite jealous.  
  
Harry came to his senses and started grouping people up to build shelter. Groups are as follows:  
  
1.) SQUEAKY  
  
HARRY  
  
JUNIE B. JONES  
  
  
  
2.) HERMIONE  
  
RON  
  
SCARECROW  
  
  
  
3.) DRACO  
  
ARTEMIS  
  
CINDERELLA  
  
4.) HANNA  
  
Each group had a certain objective. Group one was to collect materials to build the shelter with. Group two was to collect materials to furnish the shelter with on the inside. Group three was to plan how everything was set up. Group four was to sit and stare into space.  
  
In group one, it went something like this: Harry turned to Squeaky. "We need a miracle" Harry sighed. Squeaky nodded her head as if following orders, and sat down and started humming with her eyes closed. Harry stared in disbelief and Junie B. acted like she knew what was happening. Suddenly, a plane crashed in one corner of the island. It was carrying cargo for building shelter supplies. It had everything you needed to build a shelter, furnish a shelter, plan out a shelter, and stare into space. Everyone celebrated.  
  
After picking up supplies, here's how it went in group two: Ron shook the Scarecrow awake. "Wake up, you bloody fool!" he shouted. The scarecrow woke up. "Who are you?" Ron asked uneasily.  
  
"If I only had a brain.." sighed the dumb Scarecrow.  
  
"Oi! Hermione!" called Ron. "Meet 'Ifionlyhadabrain'!" Hermione ran over and shook Scarecrow's hand.  
  
In group three, this is how it went: Cinderella smacked Artemis and Draco who were both staring at her. "Come on, you guys! We gotta figure out how this goes!" Artemis and Draco just kept staring.  
  
In group four, it went a little like this: Hanna Abbot stared into space. 'Hey, there's an ant crawling up my toe.' she thought. Hanna picked the bug off her foot and dropped it into her mouth.....you get the idea?  
  
Eventually, in time, they built a shelter that looked quite like an airplane with a door. On the inside, it was spectacular, complete with a dressing room and makeup table for Cinderella.  
  
Suddenly, a booming voice boomed. "GREAT JOB YOU JUST COMPLETED YOUR FIRST TASK!!" Everyone looked at each other, except for Draco and Artemis, who were still looking at Cinderella. "YOUR PRIZE IS.." the booming voice continued. "A WELL KNOWN FAMOUS PERSON!!"  
  
All of a sudden, a girl of about 18 with curly brown-red-blondish hair fell out of the sky. The attention of Artemis turned from Cinderella to her.  
  
"D-duh..whazzyourname?" Artemis asked, overcoming his awe.  
  
"I'm Cosette," sang the girl. She then started singing a song:  
  
"In my life,  
  
there are so many questions and answers that somehow seem wrong.  
  
In my life,  
  
there are times when I catch in the silence the sigh of a far away song.  
  
And it sings, of a world that I long to see,  
  
out of reach.  
  
Just a whisper away, waiting for me"  
  
  
  
At that point, Artemis had grabbed her and started hugging and kissing her.  
  
DUH DUH DUNNN!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
tO bE cOnTiNuEd...  
  
  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME! HARRY AND CO. BELONG TO THE BELOVED JKR WHO SHOULD BETTER GET A MOVE ON W/THE FIFTH BOOK, OR ELSE I WILL GATHER A TROOP OF ARMED SPANISH EMUS AND WILL ATTACK HER DAFFODILLS. ARTEMIS FOWL BELONGS TO EOIN COLFER. CINDERELLA BELONGS TO DISNEY AND THE BROTHERS GRIMM, I THINK, JUNIE B. JONES BELONGS TO BARBARA PARK, WILBUR BELONGS TO E.B. WHITE, SCARECROW BELONGS TO WARNER BROS. AND L. FRANK BAUM, I THINK, AND SQUEAKY BELONGS TO MY SISTER, WHO MADE HER/HIM UP AND BUGS ME WITH HIM.HER YOU SHOULD SEE HIM/HER VOICE! OKAY, I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING! OH, AND COSETTE BELONGS TO CAMERON MACKINTOSH AND TO ANY OTHER BROADWAY HOT SHOTS WHO OWN IT.  
  
A/A: (author's afterthought) Before I say anything, I want to show off some of my sister, Cindy Regnarg's...rather better work. She wrote this for part of this fic while I was off the computer:  
  
"Suddenly, everybody heard a big explosion. It came from where Artemis and Malfoy were talking. It looked like they were setting off a rocket or dynamite of some sort. Both were blushing furiously. " MALFOY!! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO!!!??????!!!?? BLOW US ALL UP!!!???!!!!?? screamed Hermione. " Well, that's what we tried to do...but," "BUT WHAT!!!!!???" yelled Hermione. " But we didn't get to, I had farted, we both did.""  
  
Oh, and leave reviews for that along with your pleasant review for mine. OOkay, to the next order of business. Dijya like it? Waz it good? Bad? Ugly? Pathetic? Sympathetic? Empathetic? Antidisestablishmentarian? Overwhelming? Heartbreaking? Disgusting? Enhancing? Enlightening? Inspiring? Gross? Miserable? Les Miserables? Horrible? Remarkable? Just plain rottissatisfactoorong? Favorable? Reasonable? Sensible? Comfortable? Available? Unique? Exclusive? AnythinginyourvocabularywhichIdidnotlist? Hmm? Harr? Herm? Y? Ione? This is possibly the longest A/A I have written. Cosette: I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I PUT HER IN, BUT DEAL W/ ME I'M IN LES MISERABLES IN MY SCHOOL AND I'M JUST A LITTLE CRAZY 'BOUT IT! Review!! REVIEW!! pretty please? 


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